A Jewish funeral is a sacred rite and should be invested with both dignity and simplicity as taught by Jewish tradition. The family of the deceased should contact the Rabbi when death occurs and consult with him on all preparations for the funeral. Preplanning is encouraged. (See 7:12 of this guide)

The Jewish way of dealing with death is one part of a larger philosophy of life in which all persons are viewed with dignity and respect. Our people believe that, even after death, the body, which once held a holy human life, retains its sanctity. Our sages have compared the sacredness of the deceased to that of an impaired Torah Scroll which, although no longer useable, retains its holiness in Jewish tradition, therefore, the greatest consideration and respect are accorded the remains of the dead. We always consider "kvod ha-met" -- the honor of the dead (or the remains of the dead) to be a driving force in burial and mourning. The obligation to bury the dead is made manifest by the fact that God Himself buried Moshe Rabenu, our great teacher Moses (as it is written in Deu 34:6, "He buried him in a valley near Beth-peor in Moab, but to this day no one knows the exact place.").

Jewish Law and Tradition have endowed funeral and mourning practices with profound religious significance. To this end, Jewish funerals avoid ostentation; family and visitors reflect in dress and deportment the solemnity of the occasion; flowers and music are inappropriate; embalming and viewing are avoided; and interment takes place as soon as possible after death. A Hevra Kadisha -- a "Holy Society" which prepares the remains for burial traditionally supervises funerals in Jewish communities, consisting of volunteers who aid the bereaved and ensure that appropriate practices are followed. In some communities this is carried out by local cemetery societies or by funeral homes which observe Jewish customs and traditions. The preparation and burial of the body are highly valued mitzvot. It is a Khesed Shel Emet -- and act of kindness performed without ulterior motive, for the dead cannot repay this service. When a member of a community dies, it is the community’s responsibility to lovingly assist the deceased’s family in this final act.

I. Role of the Rabbi

I.1 Rabbinic consultation

Families should consult the Rabbi as soon as possible when death occurs.

1.2 Rabbinic Guidance

Any questions regarding funeral arrangements, and periods of mourning should be referred to the Rabbi for guidance.

2. Roles of the Hevra Kadisha, Funeral Director and Cemetery Societies

2.1 Hevra Kadisha

Congregations should be encouraged to establish a Hevra Kadisha for assisting bereaved families in arranging for the funeral according to Jewish Tradition. (See United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism’s Guide to Hevra Kadisha.)

2.2 Funeral Directors

Funeral Directors may be used if they observe Jewish customs and traditions. The Rabbi should be consulted on the acceptability of a funeral director.

3. When Death Occurs

3.1 Time of funeral/burial

Jewish Law requires that burial take place as soon as possible, preferably within 24 hours of death. Burial may be delayed for legal reasons; to transport the deceased; if close relatives must travel long distances to be present at the funeral/burial; or to avoid burial on Shabbat or another Holy Day. It should not be delayed longer than absolutely necessary. Special cases such as death by accident or suicide, or death of children less than 30 days of age should be referred to the Rabbi for guidance. It is inappropriate to make arrangement on Shabbat itself.

4. Aninut - Time Between Death and Burial

4.1 Autopsies and Organ Donation

The practice of routine autopsies is contrary to Jewish Law, since autopsies are viewed as a desecration of the body. In most cases when an autopsy is recommended, the family can refuse. In cases where the law requires an autopsy, it should be carried out under the supervision of a Rabbi who is familiar with the procedures. Organ donation may be viewed as an example of K’vod Ha-met, (respect for the deceased) which brings healing to the living. Thus, willing certain organs or tissues is permissible and can be considered a mitzvah. The Rabbi should be consulted in all cases.

4.2 Embalming

According to Jewish Tradition, embalming and the use of cosmetics on the deceased are not permitted. Embalming is not permitted unless required by Civil Law.

4.3 Cremation

Jewish Law does not permit cremation. The remains of cremation may not be brought into a Jewish cemetery.

4.4 Taharah - Ritual Cleansing

Jewish Law requires that the deceased be cleansed according to prescribed ritual as an expression of respect. A group of specially trained persons called a Hevra Kadisha (holy Society) or a Jewish Funeral Director should perform the mitzvah.

4.5 Takhrikhim - Shroud and Burial Attire

Jewish Law prescribes burial in plain white linen shrouds (Takhrikhim) so as to demonstrate the equality of all in death. In addition a Jewish male is customarily buried wearing a kipah and his own talit.

4.6 Aron - Casket

To avoid interference with the natural process of "returning to the earth," Jewish Tradition requires that an aron be made entirely of wood. Consult the Rabbi for details.

4.7 K’riah - Rending the Garment

Mourners for parents, a spouse, children, or siblings traditionally participate in the rite of K’riah (rending of garments) usually just prior to the funeral service. This rite consists of tearing a visible portion of clothing (lapel, pocket, or collar, for example.) The torn garment is worn throughout the 7-day mourning period (Shivah). In many communities the mourner wears a black ribbon. The ribbon is cut in the manner outlined above instead of cutting the garment. The tearing for parents is on the left side over the heart and for all other relatives on the right side.

4.8 Onen - Bereaved Person

Between the time of death and the funeral, an immediate family member of the deceased is called an Onen. The onen is exempt from the performance of all affirmative religious obligations, such as reciting the three daily services or putting on tefillin during aninut. During this time the onen is forbidden to drink wine, eat meat or indulge in luxuries. If aninut should occur on a Shabbat or a festival, the onen is permitted to eat meat and drink wine and is obligated to fulfill all mitzvot -- except sexual obligations with a spouse.

The reason for these proscriptions is twofold. First is the principle that the bereaved is obligated to attend to the needs of the deceased. There should be nothing to distract someone from these obligations. Second, it is considered a breach of K’vod Ha-met to do anything but attend to the deceased. Hence a mourner is not required to perform religious obligations.

The exemption need not apply when organized groups or commercial firms take care of burial needs, and the participation of the family is minimal. The solace and comfort derived from prayer and the performance of mitzvot would suggest that we should encourage such observances. The Laws of Aninut, as well as all the Laws of Mourning, apply to the seven specific relatives: spouse, father and mother, son and daughter, brother and sister. (See: A Guide to Jewish Religious Practice - Isaac Klein)

5. The Funeral

5.1 Services

Funeral Services may be held in the synagogue, in a Funeral Home, or at the grave site. The funeral service is usually brief and simple. It usually includes the chanting of Psalms and El Male Rakhamim (The Traditional Memorial Prayer), and a Hesped (Eulogy) honoring the deceased. Often the Psalms and El Male Rakhamim are chanted by a Cantor.

5.2 Viewing

Viewing the body either publicly or privately is contrary to Jewish Tradition.

5.3 Pall and Pallbearers

At a funeral the casket may be covered with a specially prepared cloth called a Pall, and is borne from the funeral service to the grave-site by family or Jewish friends (pallbearers) selected by the mourners.

5.4 Fraternal Ceremonies

Fraternal ceremonies interfere with the solemnity of the Jewish Funeral Service and are not appropriate. Consult the Rabbi. Such ceremonies may be done before the actual funeral begins.

5.5 K’vurah - Burial

In traditional practice, the casket is lowered into the earth and the grave filled, using a reversed shovel until a mound is formed over the casket. The Kaddish is recited at the grave after K’vurah is completed. However, there are different customs or variations and the Rabbi should be consulted.

5.6 Leaving the Cemetery

It is customary for the mourners to pass between two rows of people in attendance to receive traditional expressions of consolation. After burial, washing one’s hands before entering the house of mourning is also traditional.

5.7 Non-Jews may not be buried in a Jewish Cemetery.

6. The Mourning Period

6.1 Who is Obligated

Mourners are those whose parent, spouse, child or sibling has died.

6.2 Shivah - Initial Period of Mourning

Shivah is the seven-day period of intensive mourning observed by the immediate family of the deceased beginning on the day of the burial. During the entire Shivah period mourners are encouraged to stay away from work or school, and to remain at home. It is, also, a time to contemplate the meaning of life and the manner in which adjustment will be made to the death of the beloved. Public mourning observances are suspended on the Shabbat in view of the belief that the sanctity and serenity of this day supersedes personal grief. Mourners are permitted, and encouraged to attend Shabbat services; but they are not given an Aliyah, may not conduct services, and they do not display the K’riah publicly. The major festivals terminate Shivah. (For details consult the Rabbi.) Since Judaism teaches that the feeling of loss of a human life is not limited to the decedent’s family alone, but is shared by the entire community, it is customary for the name of the deceased to be recalled at the Shabbat service after the funeral.

It is customary for family and friends to arrange for a Seudat Havra’a, condolence meal, which traditionally includes round foods such as eggs, which are symbolic of the Cycle of Life, to be served to the mourners at the house of mourning upon their return from the cemetery.

It is customary, as expressions of mourning, for mirrors in the Shivah home to be covered, for a seven-day memorial candle to be kindled, for the mourners to refrain from wearing leather shoes and for males to refrain from shaving. In ancient times, mourners sat on the floor to experience discomfort. Today we reflect that experience by sitting on lower or harder chairs without cushions. Greetings of Shalom between mourners and visitors are not normally exchanged. The House of Mourning should reflect solemnity. Mourners shall not deem themselves as hosts who are obligated to serve their visitors during the mourning period.

6.3 Shloshim - The First Thirty Days

During the thirty days following burial, after the observance of Shivah, mourners return to work and activities but refrain from public entertainment or social activities. The K’riah is customarily worn during Shloshim. In place of home services, mourners participate in synagogue services daily and recite Kaddish. A grave stone may be placed and unveiled at or after the Shloshim. Consult the Rabbi. Synagogue Memorial Plaque may also be ordered.

6.4 Shanna - Twelve Months: The Duration of the Mourning Period

Mourners for Deceased parents attend services daily to recite Kaddish for eleven Hebrew months, and continue to refrain from public celebratory activities for the full twelve months. Other mourners often choose to say Kaddish during this period as well.

6.5 Yahrzheit -- Anniversary of Death

The Kaddish is recited each year on the Hebrew Calendar anniversary of death. It is customary to light a Yahrzheit (24 hour burning) candle, to study a portion of Torah or Mishnah, and to donate Tzedakah on the anniversary. Consult your Rabbi for the exact date.

6.6 Yizkor - Memorial Prayers

The Yizkor is recited on Yom Kippur; Sh’mini Atzeret; the eighth day of Pesach; and the second day of Shavuot. The Rabbi should be consulted to determine when the first Yizkor is recited. Some Jews follow the custom of lighting a Yahrzheit candle on each of these occasions, others only on Yom Kippur.

7. Miscellaneous

7.1 Kohanim - Priests

There are special provisions related to the attendance of Kohanim at a funeral. Consult the Rabbi.

7.2 Flowers

Flowers are not appropriate. Friends and associates of the deceased who wish to express condolences should be encouraged to contribute to a Tzedakah Fund important to the deceased or the family.

7.3 Nikhum Avaylim; Condolence Calls

Condolence calls to comfort the mourner should be made after the funeral, during the Shivah period, except on the Shabbat.

7.4 Opportunities to participate in a mitzvah include helping with:

Funeral Arrangements; Shmirah; Taharah; Cemetery Arrangements;

Condolence Meals; Shivah Minyanim

7.5 Limbs

Limbs must be buried, if not interred previously, with the rest of the body. If organs are to be used for transplantation, the rest of the body must be buried promptly. If willed to an organ bank, then the remainder of the body is to be buried. Burial is required of limbs removed from a patient who survives.

7.6 Miscarriages

Burial may be required for fetal remains. The Rabbi should be consulted.

7.7 Stillborn

We should rely upon the local Minhag (custom) and the local Rabbi’s understanding of the situation involved as well as the decisions of the Committee on Jewish Law and Standards. Burial is required.

7.8 Adar

The Yahrzheit of a person who died during the month of Adar in a regular year is observed in a leap year during Adar I. Similarly, there are other special cases involving the Yahrzheit of a person who died on the thirtieth day of Markheshvan, Kislev or First Adar, all of which are dates which do not occur every year. In all such circumstances, the Rabbi should be consulted to determine the correct Yahrzheit date.

7.9 Intermarriage

An intermarried Jew is allowed to be buried in a Jewish cemetery. A Rabbi may not officiate in any way at the funeral of a Jew who is intermarried and will be buried in a cemetery of another faith group.

7.10 Suicide

A suicide considered to be the result of mental illness does not disqualify a Jew from burial in a Jewish cemetery. Based upon the Rabbi’s knowledge of an individual who has committed suicide, the Rabbi determines if burying the individual in a Jewish cemetery is appropriate.

7.11 Unveiling

There is no required formal rite. If a ritual service is conducted, it may be anytime after one month has passed.

7:12 Pre-Planning

A. Advance purchase of grave sites is important and appropriate.

B. Providing designated relatives with vital information to direct the decisions and allow the family to follow the tradition and wishes of the deceased is sensitive and wise. The Committee on Jewish Law and Standards has prepared useful material on Living Wills which should be utilized by those engaged in advance planning. Informing the Rabbi is an important element in these preparations.

C. Information that will be needed on hand at the time of death:

1. Full name of the deceased; Hebrew Name. Hebrew name of father and mother.

2. Kohen-Levi-Yisrael

3. Date of birth and location of birth certificate

4. Place of birth

5. Mother’s maiden name

6. Social Security number and where card is kept

7. Location of Will. Legal advisor’s telephone number.

8. Life Insurance agents telephone number.

9. Life Insurance Policy numbers and where policies kept.

10. Location of Safe Deposit Box. Key. And who has access.

11. Bank Account numbers - Checking and Savings and where kept.

12. Securities information and where securities kept.

13. Cemetery deed/location

14. Rabbi to be notified

15. Real Estate and how Title is held

16. Military service and where discharge papers kept

17. Funeral home choice